The Platinum Door

There's this great episode of Frazier where Frazier and Niles finally get to go to some swank spa. They weasel their way thru to the "the gold level" which is so much more special but they spot someone going out another door and decide there is newer, better level to attain. They spend the rest of the show plotting a way thru. When they finally make it, they find themselves locked out in an alleyway in their bathrobes.

That's what this morning's elite member lounge felt like. They wasn't really anything special about it - to me anyway. The buffet was fine and convenient but the lounge experience was kind of boring. The seating wasn't conducive to chatting with anyone and the noise level was perfect for accentuating those one sided cell phone conversations. I bailed after some food and a latte but not without a stop at the nice ladies' room. The room being nice not necessarily the ladies. I did notice a lot of rudeness today from some of the "elite" members. The lady who was clearing tables looked a little surprised when I thanked her for taking my dishes.

Anyhow the nice, ladies' room had washlette toilets so I decide to give it a whirl so to speak. I first encountered these in Osaka in 1984 when studying in Japan. These toilets have a built in water jet system for rinsing your nether regions. Some have a blow dryer and all seem to have a heated seat option. This one was similar to what I remembered with a pictogram control pad on the wall which was pretty clear - buttons for man, a couple of buttons for woman, one for a child. At least I thought it was clear.

The water jet I remembered had a timer. Today's did not and stop it did not. On closer examination the control pad had nothing that remotely resembled a stop button and suddenly it now seemed to have lots and lots of buttons and no English writing whatsoever. So there I was thinking I can't stand up or I'll get soaked and my other clothes were all in the checked bag and if I push the wrong button who knows what could happen. It struck me that this would make a great scenario for a Lucy show or something Ellen Degeneres would do. Using my best deductive reasoning  I narrowed my choices down to two for a possible "stop" button and was thankfully right. The other choice must have been the ejector seat and/or colonic button.

...and also warm running water makes you want to pee so it kind of defeats the purpose...

Spent an hour or so poking around the airport adding to my hello kitty photo album. She has a lot of fans of all ages and all sexes. A couple spent a good 15 minutes shooting selfies with a plane in the background and more than one man had His pic taken with a H.K. figure decked out in aviation gear. Spotted a limited edition 1967 Harley Davidson motor bike, a made in Taiwan Hannibal Lecter style wheelchair, a Hello Kitty face camera, and a lost-in-translation vending machine drink.

Much more interesting than the platinum door lounge.