Dodo the Penman

My last fancy class flight for a while turned out to be on, guess what, another Hello Kitty jet. In a few hours it's back to steerage on a local airline with a questionable track record. I chose EVA Airlines for some ironic fun but ended up with rainbow in my heart.

Adieu mademoiselle Kitty, adieu!

Best airplane announcement in a while from Hello Kitty's awkward cousin, Lion Air:

After 10 minutes in Bahasa Indonesia, the English translation: 

"Dear passengers, welcome aboard. We would like to remind you that trafficking narcotic drugs is illegal and carries the maximum penalty of DEATH."  Followed by a perky "Thank you!"

On the bus transfer out to the plane the driver took a sharp corner and even sharper stop. All the tiny head-scarfed ladies, everyone one the bus really, except me, shouted gleefully woooo-aaaaah in unison like they were on a midway ride at the Ex as we were all thrown to one side. Then it was all smiles and giggles and chittering. I can't imagine that a TTC bus driver with the same move would be met with such infectious good humour. 

The plane from Bali to Makassar, Sulawesi was late by 3 hours, compounding my exhaustion, but I did manage to remember how to ask "do you speak English" in Indonesian. Handy, as there was no sign of my pickup when I finally got through the gate. There was also no internet, I had no SIM card and my hosts' number was stuck in my office email. After about 15 minutes a scruffy looking young guy approached me and asked my name. I curbed my urge to respond in my usual Toronto manner, told him and his face lite up with relief. Ramat had been waiting since 7p and it was now after 11p and he was very worried for me but now we could go to Dodo's.

I found Dodo the Penman on the Lonely Planet Thorntree where he came highly recommended. In spite of his lack of Internet presence I decided to to give him a try. He's a very charming guy, government electrician by day and travel organizer by moonlight. All of his guests bring him a pen, hence the nickname. I got a few hours sleep in one of his guests rooms then it was off to Rantepao, home of the Tau-Tau's, in the morning. 

Ramat  had some lovely Indonesian music playing - classical sounding, vaguely operatic, only palatable. After a gas stop he said with big smile that he prepared some American music for our drive. We proceeded through the crazy tangle of motorbikes, trucks, tuk-tuks and taxis to the sound stylings of John Denver and Rod Stewart.

His English was shaky but he was keen to practice and keen to hear about Canada. He is self taught using western music lyrics and Hollywood movies for his educational material. It was a pleasant drive (after I got use to the whole make-your-own-lane thing) and I got a chance to practice a few of my  Indonesian phrases back at him without feeling like an idiot.

Crashed when we got to my very clean and lovely guest house. Meeting my guide in the morning.

The Platinum Door

There's this great episode of Frazier where Frazier and Niles finally get to go to some swank spa. They weasel their way thru to the "the gold level" which is so much more special but they spot someone going out another door and decide there is newer, better level to attain. They spend the rest of the show plotting a way thru. When they finally make it, they find themselves locked out in an alleyway in their bathrobes.

That's what this morning's elite member lounge felt like. They wasn't really anything special about it - to me anyway. The buffet was fine and convenient but the lounge experience was kind of boring. The seating wasn't conducive to chatting with anyone and the noise level was perfect for accentuating those one sided cell phone conversations. I bailed after some food and a latte but not without a stop at the nice ladies' room. The room being nice not necessarily the ladies. I did notice a lot of rudeness today from some of the "elite" members. The lady who was clearing tables looked a little surprised when I thanked her for taking my dishes.

Anyhow the nice, ladies' room had washlette toilets so I decide to give it a whirl so to speak. I first encountered these in Osaka in 1984 when studying in Japan. These toilets have a built in water jet system for rinsing your nether regions. Some have a blow dryer and all seem to have a heated seat option. This one was similar to what I remembered with a pictogram control pad on the wall which was pretty clear - buttons for man, a couple of buttons for woman, one for a child. At least I thought it was clear.

The water jet I remembered had a timer. Today's did not and stop it did not. On closer examination the control pad had nothing that remotely resembled a stop button and suddenly it now seemed to have lots and lots of buttons and no English writing whatsoever. So there I was thinking I can't stand up or I'll get soaked and my other clothes were all in the checked bag and if I push the wrong button who knows what could happen. It struck me that this would make a great scenario for a Lucy show or something Ellen Degeneres would do. Using my best deductive reasoning  I narrowed my choices down to two for a possible "stop" button and was thankfully right. The other choice must have been the ejector seat and/or colonic button.

...and also warm running water makes you want to pee so it kind of defeats the purpose...

Spent an hour or so poking around the airport adding to my hello kitty photo album. She has a lot of fans of all ages and all sexes. A couple spent a good 15 minutes shooting selfies with a plane in the background and more than one man had His pic taken with a H.K. figure decked out in aviation gear. Spotted a limited edition 1967 Harley Davidson motor bike, a made in Taiwan Hannibal Lecter style wheelchair, a Hello Kitty face camera, and a lost-in-translation vending machine drink.

Much more interesting than the platinum door lounge.

Well, Hello Kitty!

Who could resist a ride on a Hello Kitty jet? Not me and not for free! The hub for Asiana Airlines in Seoul conveniently connects to the EVA Airlines hub in Tapei, the airways' home to all things "Kitty." Fans of all ages were standing next to me snapping away like paparazzi as the full moon rose over Seoul. Inside the plane and crew were decked output in pink & bows including the barf bags.

Fun meal garnishes abounded...that little wine soaked pear with goose liver pate next to "carrot Kitty" was delicious. Hmm, guess in retrospect that the pate might be kind of a cat food joke...

The Return of Dr. Blowhole

Snacked on some Asian fare and an Oreo cookie shooter at the Star Alliance lounge before my next leg. The food offerings were much better than the Maple Leaf lounge in Toronto with stir fries, noodle soups and novel French inspired desserts. Open bar seems to be the way these lounges run - you just help yourself to the beer fridge or whatever is sitting in the ice bucket. There were also bottles of primo hard liquor that one could indulge in, well aged single malts and tequila reposado. I went for a taste of a Francis Ford Coppola rose wine that was in a pretty bottle and one that I would never think of splurging on myself.

I'm settled into a 12 hour flight to Seoul Korea this time in a "smartium" pod on Asiana Airlines A380. The double decker Dr. Blowhole (Penguins of Madagascar) lookalike plane. The interiors are a bit chunkier and not quite as inspired as the Emirates' A380 but you can't complain if you can stretch out and lie flat while flying! ...and I do think flying is amazing even just sitting straight up!

Six of these pods appear to take up the space equivalent to about 20 economy seats (one level below me) I can do some of my yoga moves in my little pod - maybe even legs up the wall...oh, and you have to put on an additional shoulder strap for take-off & landing.

I ordered the Korean lunch, Ssambap, which sounds like a roll-your-own-wrap kind of thing with leafy greens, dips, and Bulgogi beef. Perhaps a recipe for a messy disaster but fortunately this massive plane is a smooth ride so I have only myself to blame for spills. Table cloths! Real glass glasses! Silver and linen oh my!

On the Road Again

For the past 18 months I've been "churning" through credit cards to collect loyalty points and this morning find myself sitting in business class headed to Bali. The pods are odd but I think I can stretch out better after takeoff. If you haven't heard me bragging yet, my "mini round the world" ticket is priced some where between 16 and 22 thousand dollars depending on how you look at it but I merely paid $398 in taxes along with 155,000 aeroplan points.

My main destination is Central Sulawesi, Indonesia where I'm meeting up with an Aussie cycle group for a 16 day, 950 kilometre tour off the beaten tourist track. Then on to Sabah Malaysia on the island of Borneo in search of whale sharks and orangutang with brief stops in Singapore and Istanbul on the way home. I figured that I should start the cycle trip well rested so thought it was the right time for my, very likely, once-in-a-lifetime business class experience.

Both breakfast choices this morning on my Air Canada flight to LAX featured chicken sausage which gave me pause given my previous experience with airline sausage. But that was Burma. So far so good.

Stay tuned for updates.